Friday, 7 November 2008


Being a freelance, I tend to find myself in different places doing a lot of different things in different settings. I could be sitting in a courtroom of the Old Bailey or enjoying a spot of polo in the suburbs of London or in a hundred year old castle in a far flung corner of the British Isles. And these would lend myself to different situations, every time.

Carrying on with Puteri Kamariah’s spooky thread, where she narrates with the skills of a penglipur lara to an audience with spookier stories to tell, I would like to tell of my own story of ‘gangguan’, which coincidentally happened only yesterday.

It was to be an early morning call and after subuh, I braved the cold autumn wind to a studio I remember I had the pleasure of working in before. I remember very clearly, it was situated near the canal and quite close to a Muslim cemetery. These days, I take mental note of things like this.

After introducing myself to people that I had to work with, I settled down to prepare myself physically and mentally to do the task assigned by an agent.

In spite of the temperature dipping very fast outside, the small studio I was in was quite warm and I began to perspire. It was not like the usual studios that I am accustomed to – but good enough to do the job at hand.

Flipping through the scripts, I felt a strange feeling coming from the pit of my stomach, one that would engulf my whole being with an intensity that made me perspire even more. But time was ticking and time is money – for the agent and for the owner of the studio, who I could see from the glass panel dividing us.

This feeling would come and go. But I persevered as a professional should and would, leaping over the most difficult words and terms effortlessly, defying even those that would challenge my tongue into doing a trip that I am most notoriously known for….spoonerism. But every fifteen minutes or so, I could feel the strange feeling again. And most times, it would make its presence heard.

Beads of sweat started to appear on my forehead and I signalled to the studio manager to give me a five, which he kindly did. We were to do this several times as the ‘gangguan’ became very frequent.

“Don’t worry,” said the studio manager, eyeing the clock and calculating mentally the hours and pounds that he would get from the delay and extended studio time.

“Take your time,” he added, sounding somewhat eerily, like an accomplice in a bad horror movie.

Even after the fresh cup of tea that he made me, I still felt uncomfortable, but I soldiered on, pages after pages, and people who listened to this recording, would not have suspected anything.

During one of the breaks, the agent burst through the door and I intimated to her what I was experiencing. She looked at me sympathetically and whispered, “Don’t worry. The French voice over artiste in the next studio is experiencing the same thing.”

So, it wasn’t just me. But it still didn’t make me feel any better.

When the session was over, the studio manager and I sat down and checked the recording before I scooted off to another assignment.

And lo and behold, the strange feeling that had been disturbing me throughout the three-hour session was clear for all to hear.

“Yes, we get this a lot especially during early morning recording sessions. People coming in without or with little breakfast. The stomach growls and rumbles. So, there is nothing to worry about. It is quite natural”.

Kak Teh's strange encounters:

The Polo'ing Experience

The Tongue Tripper

Haunting Memories


Queen Of The House said...

Haa haa Kak Teh, this is exactly what I was going to write about wrt Naz's Cringe Cringe entry. When you tag me, I will ;)

It's good to know that I am not the only one experiencing this 'gangguan'.

Anonymous said...

Priceless Kak Teh.... just like a maggi mee advert ehehhehehhe


D said...

LOL! My 'gangguan' comes in many forms and versions. At the end of the day, Kak Teh, all I can say is: you're a true pro!

Ezza Aziz said...

Seram perut membaca entry, agak nya bende tu mmg ujud kat situ dah lama,saja nak mengusik..selalu nya dia gi kat perut laa..

[danial][ma] said...

hej! kak should take that danone yogurt to avoid that 'gangguan'...very scary one...;-) and maybe because of autumn cold breeze...

Pi Bani said...

Amende lah Kak Teh... gangguan macam ni I pun boleh jadi bomohnya. Pengerasnya you just buy me lunch or dinner or hi tea or whatever. Sambil ubatkan you I pun boleh berubat sama... :)

Naz in Norway said...

Kak Teh,
I read without blinking, feeling the chill and all....tengok tengok Tipah Tertipu!

Kama At-Tarawis said...

Ya Rabbi, Kak Teh! You ni is almost maghrib and I am alone at home, tunggu nak pi mandi and solat.. mai baca pasai gangguan.. seram bulu roma sat..isyy...:)

Roti Kacang Merah said...

dear Kak Teh,
1. thank YOU for linking the spoonerism thing. i've read it in the Reader's Digest before and couldn't recall what the 'penyakit' was called...coz i do it all the time, too! and one was quite embarrassing, i've written about it here. by the way, we in the office have put up a list... siapa cakap salah, nama kena tulis [and apa yang dia cakap salah and apa the person intended to say]. and then siapa yang paling kerap cakap salah, kena baling telur masa family day. fun thing to keep and read over later on, i tell yew. hehe

2. my sis, who selalu kena 'ganggu', selalu pesan, "alaaah, jangan lah takut. 'dia' nak ajak gurau aje... sebab 'dia' bosan dengan dunia dia." Eii sabar la adik aku tu.

Fauziah Ismail said...

Salam Kak Teh
This "gangguan" is very much welcomed!

Unknown said...

Kak Teh,
You need no pawang to sweep this 'ganguan' off, do you? LOL

Kak Teh said...

Queen, tadi kak teh nak buat dah tag on Cringe tu but it was getting a bit too long and i have other boring things to finish. Banyak gangguan!

Aida - oh ada maggie advery macam ni? Hahaha, tak tau pun.

Di, do tell me of your gangguans - hahaha - tell, tell!

Kak Teh said...

ezza, lagi stress lagi dia menjadi!

danial, danone yorghurt? okay - will bear that in mind! hehehe, thanks for the tip!

pi bani - okay, asalkan free - and kena bawa ayam putih tak?

Kak Teh said...

naz tertipu, yeeeeh!!

puteri - ni balasan time . I baca cerita you masa tengah malam!

roti, kak teh ni selalu sangat lidah terpele'ot. Especially masa stress. So, really, it is a miracle that I can be a broadcaster.

Kak Teh said...

fauziah, banyak gangguan dan cabaran hari ni - hampir tak tertepati my early morning promise to you. Tapi dah hantar pun!

akmal - pawang? oh no - i already have pak awang!

D said...

hehehe.. kak teh, my most common gangguan often comes when I'm about to start my day with folders and USB drives ready, sleeves up and coffee by the side, when lo and behold - I get this very strong feeling from deep within - oh yes, it can make you pespire and gasp for air! There's a calling to check on my favourite blogs. So, away does this D go.. a-hopping on to get a piece of that chocolate from your blog! HAHAHA

Kak Teh said...

D, hahaha! Oh dear! I think I must personally go to your place and exorcise you from that gangguan. and I must put my mengkeras (is that right) instead of ayam putih, I must insist on that yummy laksa johor again. and this time sebab dah kenal dan tak malu punya pasal kak teh akan tambah banyak kali dan minta bawa balik!
Kalau tidak gangguan itu akan berterusan.

Anonymous said...

Komen Pak Malim, kucing ray yg alim.

Ya, sesetengah tempat memang buat bulu kita meremang, kata Pak Malim sambil membakar lemang. Kak Teh buat voice over mesti sedap, kata Pak Malim yg tak reti shaddap.

mamasita said...

Hai?What exactly is the nature of your job?Please excuse me for asking.Just curious from the small photo shown.Do you drive or take a bus or is your assignment normally within walking distance?U mention a Muslim cemetary nearby?Studio ni ada gangguan yang most likely originated from there ker?Asking you so many questions eh?Sorry maam!

Kak Teh said...

Pak Malim pun kak teh rasa apa kurangnya, kalau mengiau mesti lemak merdunya,
kata kak teh sambil pakai bedak nyonya.
Kak Teh bervoice over mencari makan,
ke sana sini ke kampong dan pekan,
untuk beli daging dan juga ikan,
sebab ramai anak dan kucing, kan?

Kak Teh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

omg kt, i've sooo been there!

[goosepimpling from own tummy-twisting mems. incidently i had a vo gig myself yesterday am. fortunately there was no muslim or burial place of any sort in gotham at mid-level (studio on 48th floor). still, if i had read your spooky cringe moment then, my intestines could well be in knots.]

now beside a silent prayer, i always carry a granola bar or two. ;D

p.s. way to go, pro!

Kak Teh said...

ooooh mekyam! so you understand what it feels like, working with extra sensitive microphone that picks up everything. I swear what I heard must have a richter scale of 6.5!

IBU said...

I thought you were going to suffer "terkucil" ! hehehe......

This must be a pre-req gangguan, one step before terkucil. hehehe ....

mamasita said...

Thank you Dear..sorry for the 'gangguan' from Kuantan.Sedap kacau you.Semua you jawab.hehehe

Salt N Turmeric said...

Tak baik tau Kak Teh ni. Beriya2 kita tunggu end of story. Rupa2nya gangguan sbb kelaparan. :P

Next time untuk mengelakkan gangguan dari beulang, kenalah bawak bekal nasi lemak atau karipap. ;)

Nazrah Leopolis said...

ingat kan cerita seram...suspense je.

for you it was the tummy...for me it's the sounds of swallowing (of ayaq liuq) which were often accidently captured through the condenser mic.

Uncle said...

Dear Kak Teh.

Happen to me several times.Yang tak syoknya gangguan tu datang bila dijemput makan kat rumah orang! Malunya.....kat rumah sendiri tak pernah pulak ada gangguan!


Kak Teh said...

Mamasita, I deleted the answer above as there's too many typos. Teruk typing I - tekan publich tanpa check. That's my problem.

i think there's not much space here to describe what I do.
1)nature of your job?
at that point in time, in that small studio by the canal - I was doing some voice over work. After that I rushed to Westminster to have lunch with a minister and then had a press conference.

2)Do you drive or take a bus or is your assignment normally within walking distance?

I dont drive, but I have been known to drive people crazy and up the wall and round the bend.
Sometimes I take the bus but most of the time, I take the tube - its faster. No, normally it is not walking distance - it can be a busride away or it can mean that I take a flight/eurostar etc..itulah cari makan di negeri orang.

3)U mention a Muslim cemetary nearby?Studio ni ada gangguan yang most likely originated from there ker?

hehehe mamasita, I mentioned the cemetery just to spice things up - actually the answer to the gangguan is in the last paragragh.

Pak Zawi said...

kak teh,
Tak tau pula kak teh ni pandai bergurau. Buat lagi ya lain kali. Gathering 29 Nove ni boleh terbang pulang ke KL ke? Minta Abe Awe buat launching apa-apa la supaya boleh balik.

Hazia said...

Hahaha... way to go, Kak Teh.
Potential ghost stories' writer kot;)

wanshana said...

Kak Teh,

Your intro mentioned Muslim Cemetary and canal, etc - lagi lah macam real ajer your cerita "gangguan".

Ish ish ish....Masa bulan puasa when all the hantu anak beranak and cucu cicit dia segala kena kurung and ikat, banyak "gannguan" yang macam ni ya, Kak Teh? ;)

kay_leeda said...

Kak Teh,

This "gangguan" I've been getting lots lately. At times in the meeting, "gangguan" from mine is the most intense. LOL

You have a good "un-ganggu-ed" weekend :)

Madam Tai Tai Again said...

Oh Kak Teh....suspen aje!! What a laugh...the sounds of rumbling bellies. LoL!

When I was in the UK dulu, my stomach rumbled a lot during seminars. Malu nya since the seminar group is pretty small. I could feel the growl starting and once it reached its peak I would cough out loud to cloak the sound. Tapi berapa kali boleh last2 biar aje lah dia berbunyi (berbagai rentak..) much to my embarrassment. I blamed it on the delicious British milk for making my belly growled..tak biasa kot.

Oldstock said...

Heheheh Kak Teh.... good one!

Lain kali simpan Mars bar atau Snickers dalam handbag tu... :-)

BTW, also read your link on spoonerism.... wakaka... had a good laugh on that one too!

The ex-Phillipines president you mentioned is Joseph `Erap' Estrada. I read a news article once, about a book compilation of Erap-related jokes (purportedly based on actual Estrada misuse of the English language). The book is called ERAPtion : How To Speak English Without Really Trial. I still remember the joke reproduced in that article, but as you say, it's too blue to tell here.

But I'll tell another one, just for the fun of it :-

Jinggoy : Dad, I can't visit you today. I have a urine test tomorrow.

Erap : That's okay son. Just study well.

Kak Teh said...

Ibu, memang banyak gangguan di pagi hari! Sekarang pulak sejuk sungguh and malas nak bangun.

mamasita, no problem. and i have reproduced the answer above as there were too many typos in the last one.That's another problem that I have. jari selalu tergelincir.

farina, bawa nasi lemak maknanya tidur dalam studio laaaaa!

Kak Teh said...

intan, i have that too and the clicking of the tongue. When I was doing shortwave radio - that's not a problem because there's interference anyway on shortwave. sekarang manalaaaa ada shortwave lagi.

uncle, ya ampun! malunya kalau berdepan dengan hidangan dan juga tuan rumah dan perut mula berkeroncong!!

Kak Teh said...

zawi, what's happening on 29th November? am not in the loop laah.
I dont think we can go sebab there's still a lot of work to do at this time.

hazia,...hahaha! I dont think so laaa! i cant even write any story to start with. Care to share with me some tips?

wanshana, aaah, bulan puasa boleh buat satu pasukan keroncong - bermacam2 bunyi ada. hahaah! I can just imagine!

Kak Teh said...

kay, gangguans during meetings and as for me, oress conferences canbe most annoying. The more you try to suppress it, the more it 'appears' in all sorts of sounds and pitch!

MTT - yes - try to cough! but how many times can you cough kan?

Kak Teh said...

my spoonerism is bad and i dont know my left from my right. Anyway, i have heard of estrada's trips of the tongue. and somehow he manages to make it so blue! I have heard one or two.

and thanks for sharing a lighter shade of blue in this blog - hehe!

elisataufik said...

ces. tipah tertipu!

I have small children, so I always have a pack of cookies/crackers in my handbag ;)
Tapi kadang2 bila browsing2 baca blog orang cerita2 pasal makan or masak.. gangguan tu datang jugak ;)

Kak Teh said...

Elisa, that morning we were supposed to find a cafe and have breakfast. Cari cafe tak jumpa and then dah masa untuk kerja. So, minum kopi sajalaa.
Selalunya kak teh coklat but even when the studio manager offered some biscuits, the rumblings just refused to go away.

Anonymous said...

Argh, I've been getting gastric pains of late and these 'gangguan' are very frequent visitors for me too. :P

Wonder what I can pack in my bag for nibbles... def not Maggi Mee! LOL

Anonymous said...

Alamak Kak Teh, I wanted to comment that maybe you are having menopausal symptoms. Having read to the end its nothing more than hunger pangs. You are good at creating suspense.
I wanted to join in searching for Pak Malim but shylah! Am not so good at pantun but
Nanti satu hari
Saya akan bukti
Pantun boleh direkai
Suara boleh menyanyi
Itulah azam this old lady.
Salam, NanaDJ

Kak Teh said...

kenny, the problem with you is that you are too skinny! Fatten up!
kesian you with gastric pains.

NanaDJ, tergelak sakan kak teh! Mungkin juga kan, dok panas sejuk panas sejuk!
eh bakat pantun memantun ni mesti ada pada orang melayu.
salam and welcome back after a long absence.

tireless mom said...

Dear kak Teh

At one mo, I was thinking to write Aik, kat negeri orang putih pun got spooky spooky stuff ke. And you spooked me right on! I didn't know the gangguan can be caught on the mike. Must be a truly loud one. Tak pe, during winter ni boleh di maafkan.

Kak Teh said...

tireless mom, ish kat sini pun adaaaa...dia menjelma dalam bentuk lain! hahaha!
and yes, benda tu pulak, winter ni semakin menjadi.

wahaza extra said...

Mati2 ingatkan citer hantu; Hmmm.. rupanya hantu perut lapar; Did the ghost went out after a flush like the ghostbuster? Hahahaha;

Kak Teh said...

wahaza extra, hahaha - betul hantu perut. The only remedy is nasi!

sue said...

kelakar la kak teh..ingatkan betul2'cubaaaannn' (mcm film p.ramlee tu)..rupanya gangguan nak habuan:-D

i pernah dapat 'gangguan' mcm tu time interview..harap2 boss tak dengar..bunyi kuat..and i got the job!!..mesti kes kesian kan..

Naz in Norway said...

Kak Teh,
I kalau rasa gangguan nak datang in the middle of a meeting ke...cukup expert..buat buat ruffle kertas lah, ubah kedudukan kerusi lah.. but sometimes gangguan tu cukup high decibel...termalu juga. esp type yang ketegaq....nyaring and mendayu dayu :D

Kak Teh said...

sue, gangguan tu memang untuk menolong..merayu kepada bakal boss.

naz, that's a good idea. But in front of a very sensitive mike, there's no way you can do that. Kalu dok tak diam sangat, nanti depa ingat kita ada cacing pulak!

Chahya said...

Thought I was alone...'it' followed me all my life!
Once it really scare the s**t out of me.
It was at a very cold and quiet place. Then it made its presence felt and heard, so loud that others around me put down the literatures they were previously so engrossed in and stared at me, as if I was to infect them with 'it' too. I packed my things and stormed out and blamed the spooky place for having that strangely excessive silence on that day.

Now I have the 'tangkal' reachable, it dared not showed up again.

Kak Teh said...

chahya, ooooh so kena bawa tangkal rupanya! Will do so next time; ie, Mars Bars, cadbury and all that.:)

Anonymous said...

Assalamualaikum pembuka bicara,
Abang Malaya muncul semula,
Akibat Adik Teh punya cerita,
Ganggu-mengganggu ni cerita orang Malaya.

Kak hang bagitau,
Adik Teh sudah diganggu,
Hantu syaitan atau penunggu,
Abang Malaya tidaklah tahu.

Kata Kak hang yang penyibuk tu,
Adik Teh dok sebut Abang Malaya selalu,
Dia kata Adik Teh dilanda rindu,
tanya Abang Malaya mengapa membisu?

Abang Malaya ada lagi,
Cuma ke blok Adik Teh lama tak mari,
Pasai Abang Malaya pi dok cari,
Aman bahagia damai abadi.

Abang Malaya bukan lupa,
Kepada Edelweiss begitu juga,
Kawan2 lain pun sama saja,
Bila teringat rindu menerpa.

Serapah jampi Abang Malaya baca,
Gangguan mu itu bukan hantu punya angkara,
Sekadar rindu di dalam dada,
kepada Abang Malaya yang lama tak jumpa.

Maaflah kalau Abang Malaya perasan,
Bila dah tua kita rasa bukan-bukan,
Rindu dan dendam tidak ketahuan,
Ingatkan kekasih, kawan dan teman.

Tak apalah kalau Abang Malaya tak ada,
Yang lain itu menjenguk juga,
Dengan Adik Teh berpantun seloka,
Menjadi penawar pengubat lara.

Abang Malaya tidak ke mana,
Tidak mengembara ke gurun Sahara,
Atau bertapa di dalam gua,
Sekadar berehat buat seketika.

Cerita di Malaya banyak sekali,
Ada yang lucu menggelikan hati,
Ada yang tragik sedih tidak terperi,
Membuat kita gusar di hati.

Apa nak jadi kepada Malaya,
Itu menjadi tanda tanya,
Abang Malaya tidak tahu jawapannya,
Hanya berdoa kepada Yang Esa.

Sampai di sini kita berseloka,
Menghibur hati mengubat luka,
Jauh dan dekat sama sahaja,
Dalam hati semua bertakhta.

Doa Abang Malaya buat mu puan,
Juga kepada kawan dan rakan,
Agar hari mu diberkati Tuhan,
Sihat tubuh, akal dan fikiran.

Insya-Allah jika terluang masa,
Abang Malaya mesti tiba,
Bertemu Adik Teh jauh di sana,
Agar musim gugur mu tetap ceria.

Abang Malaya

Kak Teh said...

Abang Malaya,

W'salam Abang Malaya,
sekali baca macam tak percaya,
begitu lama hilang dari alam maya,
langsung tak jenguk ke blog saya.

Oh Kak Malaya baca kak teh diganggu,
orang ingat studio tu ada penunggu,
rupa-rupanya perut meragam bermacam lagu,
lapar nak makan tapi masih kena tunggu

Rindu tu memang rindu juga,
nak cari kawan berpantun berseloka,
datang Pak Malim membuka cerita,
ramailah juga bergelak berjenaka.

musim gugur cantik warnanya,
dari dalam rumah indah pemandangannya,
tak berani keluar sebab sejuk rasanya,
berselimut di atas sofa sambil makan mee nyonya.

baiklah abang malaya kak teh undur diri,
sampaikan salam kepada anak dan isteri,
semoga kita bertemu lagi,
di mana juga ataupun di blog ini.

jabishah said...

Kak Teh..hehehe. Takut laa. I tak habis baca pun. Skipped sana sini. It's midnight here, lagi lah takut!

테하 ♕ said...

suspen je baca mula2..
lapar rupanya..

berhantu agaknya bunyi perut berkeroncong kelaparan ni..hahaha..!!

ummisara said...

Kak Teh...

suspen betoi kak teh nih...kekekeke

lain kali kena pekena nasik lemak & ayaq teh dulu...perut tak bunyi tapi mata yang layu...hahah

Kak Teh said...

jabishah, tak ada apa nak takut...punyi perut berkeroncong saja...hehe!

fateheh, hahaha - ya perut pun boleh berhantu. Hope you are okay and nice of you to drop by.

edelweiss - kalau pekena nasi lemak taj jadi kerja pula.

eh, baca tak abang malaya dah refer to you tu. Dia menjelma semula sebab tersedak bila kita dok sebut nama dia.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

I just hate it if my tummy starts growling..bunyinya memalukan.

Kak teh, i suggest you carry a few energy bars in your bag. i kalau time sejuk asyik nak makan je..lapaq aje..hehhe.

Kak Teh said...

Ida, it is one of those days tak ada langsung chocholate or biscuits in my bag. Although I had something in the studio, it was too late to satisfy the grumbling tummy.

ummisara said...

Sungguh bagai diduga, Abg malaya tak kemana
Di alam cyber dia bertakhta
Di blog kak teh akhirnya menjelma
Menghadiahkan seloka dialah juara


Kak Teh : mai kita sebut nama dia lagi biaq tersedak...hahah

Kak Teh said...

edelweiss, betui tu!
Dia tak ke mana, dok bertapa kut!

Royalshoppingarcade said...

la..ingatkan gangguan hantu..adoi kak teh funny!

Kak Teh said...

Puteri, tak ada kerja lain kan? Merapu lah!