Notes from an unsettled mind

Yesterday, I walked into the laundrette with two big plastic bags of dirty clothes. Yella’s face lit up as she looked up from her ironing. We gave each other a long, big hug. She complained that she hasn’t seen me around and I explained that my washing machine is still good and running. But at the moment it just couldn’t cope with the mountains of clothes in every room. I didn’t really need to do the laundry there, but yes, I needed that hug from Yella of Yugoslavia, and I needed that time watching the clothes swirling around in the washing machine. Yella saw to it that my clothes come out of the machine smelling all nice and clean and she’d fold them neatly and place them in the bags and put stickers that say ONE on both bags.

Events of the last few weeks had not left many of us unscathed and untouched. I had been walking around with questions of the “what if” nature that would sometimes deny my tired eyes and brain of sleep. But it is fair to say that there have been lots of sobering thoughts too; like the words of the kiyai from Indonesia who joined our congregation. He stood tall in his white jubbah, hands clasped in the manner of a learned preacher and delivered much needed words that calmed our aching hearts and soothed our wounded souls. In his thick Javanese accent, he addressed the hushed audience in the crowded room; an impromptu speech from an unexpected guest at a very opportune moment.

“Ibuk-ibuk..dan bapak-bapak……” he started, looking around the room, casting his kind eyes and arresting our attention. He then proceeded to talk about redha, about letting go and about the virtues of forgiving and asking for forgiveness. He narrated to us stories that took our minds away from the food on the table; stories which reminded us of the after life. The silence lingered on long after his impromptu speech ended.

Over the last few years, it would seem that visits to places like the Garden of Peace, had become more frequent. The serenity of the place, with rows of tall everygreens bordering the 21.5 acre of beautifully landscaped resting place, offers much comfort to visitors who go, either to bury their loved ones or to read prayers to those departed.

As I walked back to the car after my last visit there, words of Ustaz Erfino, rang clear in my head.

”Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has been quoted in many hadiths that inform us about what is in store for people in their graves. He (peace be upon him) mentioned that “sleep is the brother of death.” This is an excellent way of looking at what we will experience in our graves. Sleep may be restful and peaceful or it may be frightening and tormenting as in a nightmare. The grave we reside in after death will be similar.

He quoted surah az Zumar verse 53, ‘Say: O my servants! who have acted extravagantly against their own souls, do not despair of the mercy of Allah; surely Allah forgives the faults altogether; surely He is the Forgiving the Merciful.’

His talqin, delivered in English, reached a lot of people and did a lot to calm restless souls.

We are slowly picking up the pieces. Yesterday, after a long while, we began to notice that the flowers have bloomed.

Other notes of a rambling nature:
Notes from under the duvet