Saturday, 10 March 2007

Confessions of a Compulsive Liar

My dear faithful readers,

This is confession time. To those of you who have followed entries in my blog and believed every word that I have written here, to those of you who said my writing inspired you to write or whatever, please read this entry very carefully.

I apologise for you have all been had. I am a liar. Like allother women bloggers in this blogosphere, I am a liar who blogs. It is official because it has been said by someone high up there.

Remember that heart wrenching piece I wrote about my fear for my mother's health when she was diagnosed with cancer? The piece that had many people in tears and writing comments of support in my blog? Well, like all other bloggers who wrote about their illnesses and deaths of their loved ones, I wrote one big lie. The same goes to the mothers who wrote about their anxiety and concern about their children whom they suspect have autism - again a big con job to get sympathy from readers.
And the single mothers who wrote entries after entries about how they learned to cope after a breakup of their marriage, how they fought against all odds to bring up their children, well, they are all liars too. For we are part of that community of women bloggers who have been condemned to have the chants, "Liar, liar!Pants on fire" thrown at us from now on. Everyday, when we write a new entry to vent out our feelings and to show our concern or even our euphoria, we are simply lying, perhaps just to get attention. Perhaps because we have nothing else to do.

I will now tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. My mak is 89 and she is healthy and jovial and fine and is out there doing breakdance with her grandchildren. There’s nothing to worry about her at all. The fact that she sometimes even forgets the time of day, or where she is at this moment in time, she is just lying through her false teeth, just like the rest of us. After all she is also a woman. Given a chance and a computer, she will also blog and she will be that 8001st liar who blogs.

And so so so very sorry too because when I blogged about poor little Syazwan who is at this very moment fighting to save his eyesight – I was actually what is now termed economical with the truth. He is in fact seeing everything clearly (poor soul) with his brilliant pair of eyes. I just like to spread rumours about someone who perhaps doesnt even exist. But sometimes I wish I am blind too so that I wont see things that clearly. But don’t take my word for it because I could be lying.

And remember my passion and obsession about old Malay sailors? Well, I must say, this is just a figment of my over active imagination. I have such romantic ideas about sailors, and being the kinky liar that I am, I go for old Malay sailors. (and old British servicemen too!) The fact that there is a whole community of Malay sailors in Liverpool is one big ... yes, you guessed it...LIE. So, so sorry! No such community exists. Please erase all these information that I have written about Pak Cik Hamid Carpenter who floated in the Bay of Biscay for three days and three nights when his ship was hit by a torpedo, about Pak Cik Mat Nor who came here after working Jalan Ampas, or recently about Pak Cik Ngah Musa who is now recovering from a cancer operation. Sometimes, I allow fact and fiction to merge and then I dont know which is which! So, sorry, after all I am just a woman blogger. What can I do! Sigh! (slap on wrist several times!)

And those lovely dovey entries that I wrote about my family, about my sayang mamas? Hehehe! You’re right! I LIED. And I am getting a bit hysterical here. Hehehe! I don’t have any children that I called sayang mama – sometimes I get a bit high from drinking too much coffee and my imagination runs wild and I must admit I do have a lot of coffee as I blog.

But enough of lying for today. Lying can be so tiring! But the reason for this confession?

Someone said this about us women bloggers, and on International Women's Day too!! Ouch! It hurts.

“Bloggers are liars. They use all sort of ways to cheat others. From what I know, out of 10,000 unemployed bloggers, 8,000 are women.
“Bloggers like to spread rumours, they don’t like national unity. Today our country has achievements because we are tolerant and compromising. Otherwise we will have civil war.
“Malays will kill Chinese, Chinese will kill Malays, Indians will kill everybody else.”
He asked people not to believe bloggers and gamble away Malaysia’s future because 50 years of Merdeka (Independence) takes a lot to achieve it.
“We have to show to the people our positive attitude. If the world learns from us, there will peace and no civil war."

Read about what other women bloggers and therefore er..liars say about this here,
here and here and here

So, what do you say to this, women bloggers?


melayudilondon said...

Ah KT, sapa cakap tu? meh saya lempang sekali. Eeehh ni yang boleh mendatangkan marah!

Hi&Lo said...

Kak Teh,

My world crumbled reading your confession. All that I believed were not true?

But as I read on your sarcasm bites.

Shall I wave my keris of justice to defend the honour of all honest women bloggers?

No, am not inciting violence. The keris is a national symbol of courage and valour for truth.

Now that you have landed in KL, wish you happy time with all your loved ones and friends.

May your presence add cheer to your Mother.



isn't he clever? very smart. intelligent.witty. not like us women. and worse, women bloggers. we are a bunch of liars.

Sabar, ena, sabar.

Kak Teh said...

melayudilondon, sorry didnt have time to say goodbye. take care of yrself while i am gone. you nak tolong tempeleng??? silakan.

i am not one to get angry very easily. very rarely i explode, but i am afraid statements like these make my blood go upstairs.
Yes, my mum is looking so well. And pray that she remains the same - if not better.

ena, yes, do sabar! I am speechless!

IBU said...

The hands that rock the cradle rule the world. Today that still stands. But it's lullaby-baby no more.

Memang kalau kita sayang, sekali-sekala kita tangan-tangan kan.

Fauziah Ismail said...

Kak Teh
He has joined the bandwagon of some ministers who tend to put their foot in their mouth when criticisms are hurled at their ministries.
He probably thought all his work so far had come undone because of the blog (does this mean that he “acknowledges” the power of blogs as an alternative source of information?)
The Malays have this saying. Terlajak perahu boleh di undur. Terlajak kata hancur binasa.
Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned.

Anonymous said...

Awat Kakteh baru beritau laa ni? Tu dulu gambaq jari saya di sarung cincin mai mana?? Di alam mimpi kah saya? Ohh, tidaaak.. Tipah tertipu !!!!!

NorAiniJ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ManaL said...

Jap, urut kepala...

Kakteh, to that hamba allah: woteva....say/write what u like. Amazingly, u mustve been spending a lot of time to read all those 8000 blogs that were presumably written by the Hawa species. What a waste of time. Did u blame ur imsomnia problem on reading women's blogs? For ur info, Mr. ignoramus, a housewife is an occupation.

Kak teh, can i say: UP YOURS to him (or whatever gender this person is)? Kalau sudi, lets meet up!!

Anonymous said...

what a shame of malaysian cabinet/government! very sad that a high rank minister can give such statement!

Kak Elle said...

we women a liar???NEVER!!
We blog to let off steam sometimes mencurahkan dari hati....
Common ladies we fight till the end! keep on writing and we ask for NO sympathy.
ps..kakteh u turun sg tak?

Anonymous said...

Kak Teh...
Awat depa ni semua macam tu, depa ni ingat depa jantan depa semua pandai dah kut....

Depa tak tau ka, kalau tak dak orang pompuan, depa pun tak dak dalam dunia ni, depa tak ingat ka, kalau tak dak orang pompuan depa pun tak boleh ada waris...

Kalau betoi apa yang dilaporkan oleh paper tu, I am really sad because yang kata tu bukan calang-calang orang.

Tak perlu tuduh semua orang pompuan macam tu la, kalau nak marahkan nyamuk jangan la bakaq satu kelambu.

Mestila marah juga la kita bila tenguk report yang kata orang besaq tu macam tak hormat orang pompuan. Sebab kita ni orang pompuan so semua orang boleh kata or buat tak tentu arah kat kita...

Awat depa tu ingat kita orang pompuan ni semua 2nd class ka...?

N-Big Apple

Pi Bani said...

Terlajak perahu boleh berundur, terlajak kereta boleh gostan, terlajak mengata orang perempuan... WOW! Bagai menjolok sarang tebuan!

Sabar, bloggers, sabar... let's not follow his tune. By making that statement, he just made a fool of himself!

I sikit pun tak marah. (Oh OK, this last sentence I LIED!)

Iskandar Syah Ismail aka DR Bubbles said...

la bila sampai KL? I lost all the numbers including kak nisah, abg call me nanti ya..ah you know my number kan...

silversarina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
HCI said...

Interesting. No point wasting emotion.

Theta said...

For a moment there, I had thought you lied about going to KL too.... Hahaha!

What a riotous supposition!

Berisman said...

Kak Teh,
It is very unbecoming to make a statement like that by a minister!
We all know who are the liars.

Anonymous said...

well put kak one could have written it better..

Clark Gable of Pulau Duyong said...

Dear Kak Teh,
We the citizen of blogosphere in M'sia are up in arms ...apologise,apologise !!!

wonda said...

Kak Teh,
Yea, it hurts and can make one's blood boil. I'm stunned.

silversarina said...

kak teh,

tak sangka pulak top malaysian official boleh buat statement macam tu.... let's all unite.

Blabarella said...

How dare he. How DARE he.

People in high places should not make sweeping statements like that which will only come back to HAUNT them.

I propose that ALL we lying women bloggers do one thing in unison - stop our "lying" and state the fact that the person who uttered the statement has been unfortunate to have not been born a woman, and thus has been deprived of the power of perception to differentiate between fact from fiction, as his brain cells have instead been overwhelmed with conceit.

Anonymous said...

How can we be caught for lying when the truth was never told.

Con't to blog ladies! Blog, blog, blog! Share your thoughts and views.

Cheers to All Bloggers!!

Anonymous said...

Wow kakteh...I guess I lied about my illness too eh before this!! Hmmm..

Sepandai pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh juga ke tanah. Tengok la nanti.....

You back?

KopiSoh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mushu said...

Yes, I have a confession too. I'm actually a 8o year old granny who does a very good job in pretending she's 18. OK?

I'm actually very amused by that accusation. That poor guy who said that must have a hard time trusting anyone then.

Kak Teh, if you're lying, then we are all lying too. So, we lie together-gether la ok? Fun what... hehhehe...

KopiSoh said...

kak teh the above deleted comment was mine misread your post, sorry. When free hop over for coffee, miss you at my kopitiam, we "liars" must drink coffee together (whatelse would the unemployed do) so can come up with more "lies" to tell :P

Mutiara said...

Seriously these ignorant politicians are a sad bunch of baskets.
He just could not keep his mouth shut and be thought a FOOL. He opened it and removed all the DOUBTS!!!

Anonymous said...

Assalamua'laikum K.Teh,

I have been an avid reader of your Choc-a-Blog after a friend introduced me to it.

It has been keeping me sane while I'm trying to finish my PhD, here in Geordieland AND the same friend had also suggested that I start my own blog - which I did!

So, in a way, blogging and reading blogs of others (ESPECIALLY by BLOGGING MOTHERS!)has kept me VERY sane while I'm thousands of miles away from my husband and three kids.

Personally - I would not pay a flaming foooooossshhh to the statement made by the Pak Menteri. Because you just have to remember : People ALWAYS assume that other people are the same as them; or think the same as they do?!

SO, if he says we are liars.... it because HE IS one, too?

KopiSoh said...

kak teh picture posted, you are needed for jury duty on my blog, hehe.

Anonymous said...


I would delete the word "too", from the last sentence in my comment above(?) - because : WE, Women Bloggers, ARE NOT liars...

Anonymous said...

Kak Teh don't waste your time and energy being negatively sarcastic! It serves to confirm MCP views that women are emotional ravers, ranters and ramblers. If we are serious our comments and postings must be short and pointed or long and substantive. Don't waste time getting people to sympathise with you, rather they must empathise with (your)sound views and judgements so that they can act upon them and bring about change together with you.

Nazrah Leopolis said...

...saya takmau banyak cakap, pak menteri itu sememangnya sangat lucu. Selucu kuncu-kuncunya.

Oh God, please save our Malaysia. It's being ruled/advised by comedians who bloghop.

Anonymous said...

kak teh,
Nampaknya saya menipulah jika saya mengatakan bahawasanya saya ini adalah seorang wanita gemok.
*lompat hula hula*
Kurusnya saya.
Awat lah pak menteri tak gheti pikiaq sebelom nak berkata2?

edelweiss said...

Kak Teh,

dah 5 hari saya outstation pantai timur. nak tanya...sapa pulak yang cakap lagu tuh???? sapa-2 boleh habaq mai?

Ordinary Superhero said...

I hope none of the minister's wife(wives?), daugthers, nieces, female relatives etc have blogs!

And if the minister's wife(wives?), daugthers, nieces, female relatives etc do have blogs, I hope they go and LEMPANG this stooopid minister!

Typhoon Sue said...

That Tengku Adnan fella is the most intelligent man I've ever known whose words captivate me everytime he speaks and good looks cause me to swoon every time I see him.

But then again, I'm a woman blogger!

Queen Of The House said...

Kak teh, since you are such a big LIAR, I'm not going to believe your confession to being a LIAR!!!

That d*mw*t just brought Malaysian women 20 years back .... negating all our struggles for equity, belittling all our contributions, bla bla bla (too het up to write anymore)....

Makcik Runner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Makcik Runner said...

i think i am one of those 8000 strong unemployed women he mentioned.

come on girls. no need to waste your precious time and energy on one grumpy old man. he's from the neanderthal species, that's why he is like that lorr!

err...tumpang lalu jap kak teh.

Anonymous said...

Ampun maaf Abang Malaya minta
Lama menyepi tiada bersuara
Hati sedih bercampur lara
Mengenang nasib bangsa negara.

Pemimpin?? kita punyalah mengarut
Bila bercakap banyak mencarut
Tuduh orang tak ada isi perut
Depa cakap ikut suka mulut.

Ni la kita di Utara kata merapu
Cakap macam orang mabuk candu
Macam dirasuk iblis dan hantu
Perasaan orang dia tak ambil tahu.

Ni la pemimpin zaman hadhari
Apa orang fikir dia tak peduli
Pasai budi bahasa dia tak reti
Maki hamun sesuka hati.

Adik Teh janganlah marah sangat
Orang macam tak guna dok ingat
Lempar dalam parit cepat-cepat
Jadi makanan puyu dan sepat.

Depa la ni dah desperate
Depa susah rasa tersepit
Pasai blogger dah jadi favourite
Rata dunia orang dok celebrate.

Abang Malaya berundur dulu
Nak balik kampung tengok ayah ibu
Dekat Gunung Jerai abang akan lalu
Lepas tu corner masuk jalan ulu.

Tunku Halim said...

Kak Teh - please give us more lies. We love it.

They say that fiction is "the truth behind the lies". With blogging, those high above say it's "the lies behind the truth".

What happens when one places lies upon lies?

m.u.l.a.n said...

sabar kak teh... depa (di tampuk pemerintah tu) ni dah takde modal ke...

Hi&Lo said...

Kak Teh,

Abang Malaya is back with his vintage. Hurrah!

What Shana said is very profound. Wish her success in her pursuit.

Anonymous said...

kak teh,

siapa bohong? nama sebenar dia pun dia bohong!

siakap senohong,
gelama ikan duri,
bercakap bohong,
lama-lama jadi menteri.

Atok said...

when it came from a guy who was born adnan but decades later remarkably became TENGKU adnan, i don't take it seriously lah :)

enjoy malaya...

ps: sssiang awang dok ccokoh ssoghang makang ikang singgang malang-malang.

sal said...

And other women bloggers. We demand and apology. And if we don't get one, we don't vote for BN in the next election. Not only that, we will use the power of the blogs to influence other women voters not to vote for BN. Pak Lah better do something, his cabinet looks like a band of clowns. Memalukan.

NorAiniJ said...

Dear Kak Teh and everyone!

My apology for the earlier lengthy and unsubstantiated comment. It was past midnight when I typed it, so I must be very groggy then.

Now that I am sober, I think the person who said it must be quite reasonable...cmon!

But then again… I LIED, I still think the comment is very uncalled for.

elisataufik said...

rasa-rasanya kalau mak dia tahu, boleh kena lempang sebijik kot..

anne rafei said...

i'm not a woman
i'm not a mother
i'm not a wife

i'm just a blogger who could only lie


Mumsgather said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mumsgather said...

Dear Unemployed Liar,
Where do you suppose he got his statistics from? I wonder when will they ever learn that when you are holding an important key position (and one that is supposed to be attracting tourist at that) you should at least back up your words with some solid stats when you want to make sweeping statements like that. But what do I know? Like you, I'm only a jobless liar.
Another unemployed woman liar.

Anonymous said...

Kak Teh,
I hate it when women are being single out for any negative actions. Doesn't the Minister know that liars can be of any gender? in the case of Ministers, it is the male Ministers/Chief Ministers that are usually liars etc. etc. But do we women make an issue of it?
As for this recycled Minister, Pak Lah should not have appointed him to the Cabinet. Watch out for his next boo boo.
As for you Kak Teh and other female bloggers, keep on blogging, we love you!

Unknown said...

Hi Kak Teh,

Duh! What sweet sarcasm! Fully entertained here.

Hmm...sad this state of affairs.

8000 of us around out of 10000? Wow! Ramai juga and that's lovely. That's an indication that there many educated women. One must be at least able to read and write and on top of that be able to understand computers before blogging right? So women bloggers first and foremost are educated at least!

In any case, if anyone wishes to hit on women in a general way, one must think that one has a grandmother, mother, sisters, wife, for thought I guess.

Come on women, don't worry too much about that. We are able people. What we know is what counts.

Norma Kassim PhD said...

..and I thought that it was most difficult to write what matters most to me ..except in a blog?

syik s. said...

kak teh,

even if you said you are a liar, i rather believe in you than some dirty old man like the man who said those 'pretty statistic'...

Anonymous said...

A bunch of bankable, compulsive and perceptive raconteurs/observers without malice or hidden agenda or ulterior motive is more like it.

Anonymous said...

Where on earth did he get those "statistics" from? Did he just pull it out of his head? Possibly, since it definitely doesn't contain anything resembling a brain...

It's guys like him that give us men a bad name. Kak Teh, rest assured that not all men think, or rather, not think, like that. El stupido...

Rohaya & Taufik said...

We, women are always being discriminated in many ways. I am so mad with that unintelligent comment, with no substance whatever to support his comments. Blogs are not just about politics! Why can't he meet us / enroll to some Internet courses so that he can learn about the concept of blog?

tokasid said...

Salam to kak teh and all.

Pak Menteri di hinggapi penyakit cirit birit mulut atau penyakit kaki dalam mulut.
Saya tertanya-tanya:
1-Banyak benar waktu pak menteri sehingga boleh membaca semua blod yg ada dan dapat beliau identifikasi bahawa 10 ribu bloggers tidak bekerja.
2-Beliau hebat kerana dapat identifikasi ada 8 ribu bloggers wanita.
3-Lebih hebat lagi beliau dapat identifikasi bahawa bloggers wanita memang berbohong.
4-Mungkin beliau benci bloggers wanita kerana pernah tertipu dgn janji manis seorang blogger wanita? Jika begitu lagu Ruffedge harus ditukar tajuk "TokNan tertipu".
5-Atau beliau marah kerana wanita yg beliau kenali telah menipu beliau di dalam blog.
6-Mungkin beliau di tipu oleh orang bawahannya yg pernah di tipu oleh blogger wanita.
7-Mungkin beliau tidak pernah mengetahui apa itu blog kerana beliau sebenarnya bersifat Goblog.
8-Kadangkala ada orang suka mengatakan orang lain menipu kerana dia sendiri seorang yg gemar menipu(kira reverse psychology laa)
9-Mungkin juga beliau mahu menandingi rakan sejawat yg lain yg gemar melabel atau menuduh orang lain di atas kesilapan mereka sendiri.
10- Yang nyata sebelum terkenal beliau tiada nama Tku di hadapan Nan.Tiba-tiba setelah aktif politik timbul panggilan Tgku Nan.Mungkinkah beliau menipu kita?

Anonymous said...

Kak Teh, you are obviously having fun in Malaysia, oh....sorry Australia, I mean!

Wahahahhaaaa...I am so gullible I read and reread your post....not believing a word you said and was looking for something I thought I missed like, "Sorry, I lied about what I lied!"

Don't forget to makan all the delicious food on my behalf! :)

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I lied about being anonymous...the previous comment was actually me, Judy! :P

Lee said...

Hi Kak Teh, regret to note someone saying bloggers "liers". We should not be upset over what he mentioned but pity him as someone who sees a tree but not the forest.
Please continue what you doing Kak make the world a better place for us. Hope one day to cross paths with you and it will be my privilage to shake your hands.
Best regards, UL.

ailin...(still) in aalborg said...

hmm...and I guess I'm just producing babies every 9 months then?

Anonymous said...

Saw you on TV last night. Looks as gorgeous as ever.
But then I am a woman blogger. A liar...
Miss you bunches kak teh! Tak sabaq nak jumpak bila kak teh balik sini!

D.N.A.S said...

Just because we make time to share our opinions and life experiences, they're calling us LIARs (while they're busy with their playstations or watching porn).

p/s: The highest achiever for SPM 2006 is a girl (again!). I wonder whether she lied all the way through her exam papers).

anggerik merah said...

Kak Teh dear,

Went through a couple of yr previous entry I missed. Feel touch when you link mine to yr entry on Woman blogger. Even if anyone categarised we are a compulsive liar...I will continue to blog what I feel like as the rest of us felt. After all we have nothing to loose, except to gain much from speaking our mine in this form of communication. Thanks to you Kak Teh! Never did I regret to be a blogger.

I want to say.."GO GO WOMAN BLOGGER!!"

Kak Ruby wrote that she will be meeting you. I asked her to send my hug and salam to you. It must be very exciting..

U take care.

Love, AM

wetbenang said...

Hi Kak Zaharah,

This is my first time here. Anyway, I feel sorry for that someone "high up there", because his remarks show that he has nothing up there. Which is rather scary...God help this blessed country.

Anonymous said...

Adik Teh, berikut adalah versi dewasa/politik pantun kanak-kanak.

Pok amai amai
Belalang kupu-kupu
Tepuk ramai-ramai
Ku Nan dah mula merapu.

Tu bulan tu bintang
Atas pokok kayu ara
Tu dia dah datang
Kami merapu kabinet kita.

Siakap senohong
Gelama ikan duri
Dia kata blogger kaki bohong
Dia tu lebih lagi.

Surung papan tarik papan
Buah keranji dalam perahu
kabinet mahu rakyat bersopan
Bapak menteri tuduh melulu.

Pisang emas dibawa belayar
Masak se biji di atas peti
Kalau muda bolehlah diajar
Ni dah tua tunggulah mati.

Pulau Pandan jauh di tengah
Gunung Daik bercabang tiga
Rakyat tegur menteri marah
Menteri celupah tak mengapa.

Tepuk amai-amai
Belang kupu-kupu
Mari ramai-ramai
Kita tolak menteri merapu.

Buah cempadak di luar pagar
ambil galah tolong jolokkan
Abang Malaya mohon beredar
Keselamatan adik abang doakan.wsyfhz

Unknown said...

Salam kak teh,
Sentap sgt2..

Apa yang saya lihat, disebalik kata-kata itu jelas kelihatan betapa "rendahnya kecerdikan" orang itu.
Mereka takut sebenarnya...

D said...

kak teh (the liar),
aren't we all liars? I don't recall reading any small prints when setting my blog about blogging ethics (NO LYING!). Nor is the liar an alien in this world. Anyone can post anything on his/her blog - it's up to others to read them or not (not to mention, believe every word!). malaysians have nothing better to do kaaa????

Anonymous said...

Nila Tanzil had expressed her gratitude to all bloggers. However, she was suspended by SCTV after that post in her blog.

~"Setelah itu, aku dapat kabar dari orang SCTV bahwa tulisanku bikin heboh orang Malaysia Tourism Board. Lalu oleh orang SCTV dijawab bahwa tulisan itu bersifat pribadi, tidak ada kaitannya dengan SCTV," papar Nila.

~ Tak hanya membuat gerah pihak Tourism Board Malaysia, tulisan Nila di blog tersebut juga mengubah nasibnya di acara "Melancong Yuk!".

~ "Setelah kejadian itu, SCTV membatalkan perjalananku ke Makassar. Dan sampai sekarang tidak ada kabar dari orang SCTV, dan tidak ada surat resmi tentang statusku sekarang ini," kata Nila. "Aku jadi bingung, padahal di kontrak tidak disebutkan ada larangan menulis blog," ujarnya sambil tertawa.

Read here, detikinet an online media in Indonesia.

nyonyapenang said...

ooooh.....i have been LYING all this while ar????? LOL

ikanbilis said...

ohmigawd. im the remaining 2000 bloggers. i never even knew i lied in blogsphere.

Kak Teh said...

Thank you everyone for your comments! I truly appreciate each and everyone of them!

Anonymous said...

We are not stupid.x