Be happy and take care of each other!

The last time I saw Pak Teh he had this silly grin on his smile, acting like a teenager in love. I even felt a tinge of envy and a lot of other unexplained emotions, but yes, I was happy for him. Since Mak Teh left after a long illness, he looked totally lost. And now, there was hope of a new lease of life.

He approached Mak, his eldest sister to tell her of his intentions.

‘Kak, saya nak kawin,” he announced and explained that the person to take the place of our beloved Mak Teh by his side, was someone he met at the surau. Looking at the state of him, in shirt all crumpled and looking very much neglected, Mak gave her smile of approval. After all, with children all married with their own families and in their own homes, who is to keep Pak Teh company in his twilight years. Yes, he was the same jovial self, clowning around and a joke a minute whenever he was with us, but at the end of the day, he cut a very lonely figure, driving his small Kancil home to an empty house.

It wasn’t a very easy first meeting for me with the new Mak Teh. I had always been jealously possessive of my aunts and uncles. When Tok Su took a second one when the first was still alive, it took me along time to bring myself to accept her. It was made especially difficult because they both have the same name...so it became Tok Su A and Tok Su B.

But this was a totally different situation. I told myself that Mak Teh was gone and never to return. Pak Teh needed looking after. And most important of all he needed companionship. Someone to ‘bergurau senda, berjeling manjalah!” Someone to rub his back and massage the old joints and someone to sit by his side in the Kancil to and from the surau.

And we shouldn’t deny him this. Yes, a replacement need not erase the memories of the old Mak Teh. She is still in our hearts and minds. Some children do jealously guard their fathers, especially from taking the place of their mothers. To a certain extent it must be hard to accept that another woman is taking the place of your mother. But I think this is just pure selfishness, without a care or consideration to the father’s needs.

When I received news that Abang is ready to accept someone in his life, I felt the same mixed emotions. But all for selfish reasons. We are not there all the time for Abang since Kak Piah left. And as Mak wisely puts it, “ Yang pi tu dah tentu pi, yang dok ada ni, sapa nak jaga?’

And from what I heard from the excited clan back home, Abang has the same silly smile on his face, acting like a teenager in love, all over again. And why not?

So, from thousands of miles away, across the oceans and divided by the deep blue seas, I send my sincerest wish and prayers for the couple who is to tie the knot soon. To Abang, be happy, and to the new Kak, welcome to chaotic and most of the time crazy family! And most of all...Take care of our Abang.