Sunday, 26 February 2006

A big nothing ..( I really can't think of a title)

Sometimes we waste alot of precious time, way too much time, thinking and pondering and wrestling with problems or what we thought must be problems that will consume us if we ever close our eyes and sleep. So, we don’t sleep and think and magnify the problems to such a magnitude that the world around us doesn’t matter anymore. Well, I have bags under the eyes to prove it and the problems still never go away – and seeing the bags under the eyes, allow self pity to set in. Well done!

Why am I ranting so? Well I just felt like putting it down on paper (or on screen) and see how it looked like and shame myself enough to move on and be more positive. And be more decisive!

So, that’s it!

While I was wallowing in self pity and certainly on a self destruct mode, I had forgotten the sufferings and misfortune of others. Someone rang and said, “Have you visited so and so? Didn’t you know her child was born with some life threatening disease?” Another call, “Did you know that the baby with the hole in the heart and the damaged left lung just died?” No I haven’t” No, I didn’t know!!!

And I also just heard that a friend just succumbed to cancer, so soon after she became a grandmother.

Compared to all these, my missing a deadline, my trivial mistakes in life – intentional or not, are just a big nothing. And I had allowed myself to wallow and drown in a big pool of nothingness. How clever!

Yesterday, I visited the two ladies I blogged about earlier. And Alhamdulillah, they are well – both are up and about after being given a new lease of life. And one can’t wait to go home. Her son is missing her so much that he has fallen ill and is in hospital. And I am taking this opportunity to thank this blogger and this blogger for making it possible for her to go home with something for her son and family. I really cannot repeat the number of Terima Kasih Bu, Terima kasih Bu and Terima kasih Bu that were uttered. But those are the expressions of gratitude to you. And my thank you to you too.

I really don’t have much more to add for I just want to crawl under the duvet and hide again until it is time for Eastenders and American Idol. Byeee.......


(Get a life, Kak Teh!)

32 comments:

anedra said...

whatever it is that u're thinking of, hang in there! we're all here with you!

and yes..East Enders??? GET A LIFE Oteh oii!

Muaahhhs!

may said...

yes, those "hidden blessings" we usually don't see, yet are there helping us move on with life one way or another.

I eagerly await American Idol too ;)

Nazrah said...

bintang pujaan amerika mmg susah nak miss eh..hehe nasib starworld byk repeat program.

hope u will feel better soon!

demonsinme said...

Assalamualaikum Kak teh,

Now why should you "get a life" when your life is already the root of envies for those like me?

klmuk said...

kakteh, sambutlah a big, big obese hug from texas. will chat again soon.

Mama Irma said...

It's that time of the month again, kak Teh? Sometimes me too, feel so miserable but couldn't pinpoint what's the source of the misery....It must be something to do with us coming from venus??..

AuntyN said...

Kak Teh mai sini nak hug hug. Nak nangis baca entry ni. It's the least we could do. I am learning too.

bergen said...

This kinda self-analysis is gonna lead you to something deep, ma'am. It usually does. Or to the kitchen, the fridge. Or the gym. Or knitting. Or Tai-Chee. Or watching the pidgeons in the park. Or a big script for a movie. A big book.

I'm gonna sit here and watch which way you are gonna go, ma'am. Cheers!

dr in the house said...

Yup must be those hormones again!

Kak Teh said...

anedra, as if things are not bad enough, eastenders and american idol clashed!! both at the same time!!! Is there a global conspiracy against me??
hmmm - there gors my self pity again.
may, wise words..these little signals we tend to miss and misinterpret.
nazrah - hmmmmmm
demonsinme, thank you. You know I visit you too but I cant seem to access the site properly.
klmuk - aaaah - i feel better now.

Kak Teh said...

mama irma, hehe - is it infectious, this thing that we've got?
auntyN - here's to a cyber hug!
bergen...I pray to God that u are right. But as u are watching my steps, i have to be very careful..am prone to stumble...Doa for me, pls.
Doctor, doctor, why do hormones conspire against us?pls reply in not more than 50 words.

Jade said...

kak teh... i'm guilty of wallowing in self-pity at times too.. i guess all of us do.

psst.. i'm still at lost of eastenders.. :-p tv program eh?

LifeBloom said...

Once in a while crawling into a duvet cocooned in its downy softness against the harsh realities of everyday life is such a welcome respite.

Whenever I am having the blues - I find exercise or singing very therapeutic (must be done with gusto and penuh perasaan however)...

Also it helps to think that Allah SWT never tests or burdens His subjects with something that he or she will not be able to handle.

Take care and we will be waiting for you to kick off that duvet soon!

anggerik merah said...

Take care Kak Teh......Big hugssss

Kak Teh said...

lifebloom - i like that! yes - at least i dont feel guilty about hiding under the duvet.
jade, eastenders tu soap yang dah berzaman-zaman - its corny but still addictive.
AM - thanks - appreciate it.

Anonymous said...

Oooo, I am so tempted to hide under the duvet too. When. Worries. Dont. Seem. To. Go. Away. But soon, spring will be here!!! Jane Sunshine

demonsinme said...

Ahhh...

I know you do visit me kak teh.

Here's the tric to my blog. The fisrt page you see when you type my url is my wellcoming page, it explain lots of the things and the reasons why i wrote what i worte.

To read the updates in my blog, point youe cursor to the "POST" sign, it'll take you into my gloomy world.

blogreader said...

Hi, what happened?

5xmom ~chanlilian.net~ said...

Kak Teh!!!! Rindu....

Sometimes, I goofed up too badly and dare not face the world. Want to tell or write also dare not. But somehow, the big boss up there surely give me a kick and tell me 'stop that, no one's gonna care, keep moving, keep moving'.

American Idol? Yay, I like that too. And American Top Model. Sigh, too bad I don't qualify to try for both.

pu1pu3 said...

Ala KT, Jgn camtu.I'm sure by now reading all these wonderful comments have lifted your mood somewhat. Its not you. Its the weather la. I felt that too when I was over there. Dreary, gloomy old England. You must look at greens.Its said to help your eyesight a bit. And hopefully, you'll be able to 'look' at things at a clearer perspective? take care KT. May Allah be with you always..

Ordinary Superhero said...

Alah, small matter.

Don't despair for we all are human.

Just like when you're driving, you still need to look at the rear view mirror and the side mirrors just to make sure that we are heading to the right direction. But just don't stare at the rear view too long...

Kak Teh said...

sunshine, let's share duvet.
demonsinme - aha - so that is the trick, eh? Will make another attempt.
blogreader...nothing, a big nothing. U know the feeling that u had when u called me one afternoon and we sat at soas canteen and sorted things out? well, its that kind of a week.wish u are here, or caroline. I am missing both of you.
lilian, to take part in the top model, i'd have to take part in extreme makeover first - even that awso cannot guarantee one!
OSH - wah such wisdom. I never thought of it like that - never2 look in the rear mirror for too long. You might miss something or it cld be fatal - point of no return. thanks Bro!

Putri - i'll be okay. will sms u some good news soon.

ni gonchaq said...

kak teh tau dak kat sini ada kes banjir kilat, budak 4 tahun pukul adik 2 tahun (sampai meninggal adik dia), tangki metanol meletup kat penang, minyak naik 3 kupang bla bla bla bla bla

Count Byron said...

Great work and lovely thoughts. It is just like you Kak Teh.
American Idol.. yeah.. chances are we might be watching Paula Abdul simultaneously.. so wave to the screen I will.

Lydia Teh said...

KT, we all go through these phases, then we snap out of it and carry on with life. Ok, jump up from the bed, all together now, up two three four...

mobilemom said...

What ever happens in our daily life is an experience. It is a routine of what we learn and experience everyday. We all move on to strive, take and accept the challenges that's given to us by ALLAH.

Kak Lady said...

Kak Teh...agaknya terlalu banyak memikirkan ttg kebajikan orang lain hingga terlupa yang kak teh juga 'need a rest'...

So just crawl under the duvet..if it will make you feel better...

pu1pu3 said...

Wow,ada sms la.good news pulak tu. Can't wait!

Diran Kesuma said...

at least you are able to write something.

aneeta said...

Eh??

Kak Teh, you're human after all.

Am so used to these feelings now. Just wrote a post on Lydia's blog - asking her to save me place under the blanket as well [re the post about the phenomenal success of Yvonne]. But, I added that she should provide tissues for the tears ...

tee said...

hemm, i think a cuppa of hot jasmine tea will do the trick or as for me i love to treat myself by bloghopping.. hehehe...

RedKebaya said...

KT - dont berate urself so la KT *big hugz* methinks we makciks especially, have earned the right to wallow in self pity sometimes. bukan apa, we give and give and give until theres nothing left to give!! *another big hug* surely its not a sin to be thinking of self before others for a wee while eh? dont feel bad or guilty about taking some 'shut down' time hon, insyallah you'll come back stronger :)