Thursday, 21 December 2006

Goodbye

It was a cold foggy morning when we started our journey to put him in his final resting place. The fog did not lift making our drive difficult and at times dangerous along the A41. We lost our way several times to a destination unfamiliar to all of us in the car but we made it there just in time as the hearse made its way into the multi-faith cemetery. It was serene and calm, with the fir trees bordering the cemetery, standing quite still as if to respect the arrival of the new resident.


Several friends, people from the mosque carried the coffin from the hearse to the newly dug grave. The serenity was only broken by the sound of the bulldozer making its way to do its final task of piling in soil ensuring whatever picture we have of him remains in our minds and our hearts. When the work was done, we stood around to say our prayers and doas. Ustaz’s talkin and his last message and reminders to him, who had gone to the other side, brought more hot tears stinging our cold cheeks. We stayed rooted to the frozen ground long after ustaz made his seven steps away leaving him in his final resting place, our feet feeling numb, our hearts feeling empty, yet thankful that he no longer feel any pain.

I remember breaking the silence, saying to a friend; “It is strange that we never thought or fathom who we would bury and who would bury us.” When I met him five years ago, I never thought I would be standing there that cold autumn afternoon, watching him being lowered down into his final resting place. Apart from the people from the mosque and his close relatives, there were other friends of his who came to say goodbye. This was the first time that we all met – none of us knew who belong to which chapter in his life. But I am grateful that I belong to a phase when he was ready to share his fear and anxiety which he then turned into great hopes and expectations at the thought of one day turning that experience into something useful for others. I feel almost privileged to share with him his journal that he wrote in fine handwriting, detailing his fear and loneliness and pain, at times exasperation and despair marked by lots of question marks and exclamation marks.


We walked away, leaving him and made the journey home to London, again enveloped by thick fog all along the way. I felt emotionally drained. Wonda wrote to me to say don’t try to carry too much a burden on my shoulder. He wasnt a burden, he was a brother. Sort of.
Al Fatehah.

42 comments:

ikanbilis said...

Al Fatihah.

Kak Lady said...

Al-Fatihah buat yang telah pergi...sesungguhnya...Mati itu adalah Pasti...

Anonymous said...

My dear Kak Teh,
My condolence for the loss of your dear friend. Please don't be too hard on yourself.

Vern said...

Kak Teh, sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts are with you.

Anonymous said...

Is it expensive to have a Muslim burial in the UK?

k.d said...

KTeh, AL-Fatihah and takziah.

Home is where your heart is and where you made it. No matter where you are.

We are grateful even though far from immediate family, our friends are here to see us through thick and thin.

Alhamdulillah he has good friends like you around, KTeh, until the end.

Anonymous said...

Kak Teh, my deepest condolence. You have done all you can and your dear friend is in a better place and like you said, "No more suffering for him". Take care...

abang malaya said...

Adik Teh,

Hidup jodohnya mati
Senang jodohnya susah
Suka jodohnya duka
Muda jodohnya tua
Yang pergi tetap pergi
Doa kita mengiringi.

tokasid said...

Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi roji'un.
Semoga ALLAH Azza wa Jalla merahmati Allahyarham juga mengampunkan segala dosa-dosa beliau dan dosa-dosa kita, Ameen.

maR said...

Al Fatehah....

~ GAB ~ said...

Al Fatihah to your friend.

mommy@lif said...

al fatihah.. salam takziah.. moga arwah dikalangan orang yang beriman..amiin

Kak Teh said...

Thank you everyone for your kind wishes and doa.

Kak Teh said...

bergen, to answer your question; yes, it is expensive. The arrangements to take the body from the hospital to the mosque to be bathed and prepared for funeral is one thing. Then there's the expenses for the cemetery, for the grave. All in all about £2000. The hospital can arrange for free if you are on benefits and the council will help too. But hospitals can tak etheir time too.

edelweiss said...

Al-Fatihah. Sesungguhnya Allah S.W.T lebih menyayanginya.

edelweiss said...

angin menyahut ombak dipantai
Butiran pasir terhampar indah
Perginya sahabat sanyahut Ilai
Sabar & Redha haruslah dihati

Hati yang tulus ikhlas dan bersih
itulah ciri sahabat sehabat sejati
Ketahuilah Kak Teh, janganlah sedih
Arwah pastinya bersyukur dirimu dikenali

Abang Malaya, pun dah berkata
Yang pergi tetap pergi Doa kita mengiringi
Semoga sentiasa dibaja ingatan bersama
Insyallah, akan bermaknalah hidup ini

Alfatihah ku hulur padanya
Walaupun tak ku kenali siapa
Tiada sempadan jarak dan masa
Saudara seagama itulah dia

edelweiss said...

angin menyahut ombak dipantai
Butiran pasir terhampar sepi
Perginya sahabat menyahut Ilahi
Sabar & Redha haruslah dihati

Hati yang tulus ikhlas dan bersih
itulah ciri sahabat sehabat sejati
Ketahuilah Kak Teh, janganlah sedih
Arwah pastinya bersyukur dirimu dikenali

Abang Malaya, pun dah berkata
Yang pergi tetap pergi Doa kita mengiringi
Semoga sentiasa dibaja ingatan bersama
Insyallah, akan bermaknalah hidup ini

Alfatihah ku hulur padanya
Walaupun tak ku kenali siapa
Tiada sempadan jarak dan masa
Saudara seagama itulah dia

abang malaya said...

Inilah berita dari Malaya
Banjir besar ramailah menderita
Ada yang lari ada yang mati
PM tetap bercuti di luar negeri.

Dulu negara dilanda Tsunami
Masa tu pun PM tengah bercuti
Dia tak balik berhari-hari
Rakyat dok tunggu gigit jari.

Yang mana satu Abang Malaya tak tahu
Antara rakyat dan cuti mana lebih perlu
Kalau Tun M dia dah balik terburu-buru
Macam dia buat sama Tsunami dulu.

Dia terkam balik dari luar negeri
Mula-mula singgah di Pulau Langkawi
Pak Lah dari jauh dia hantar simpati
Dengan tauke-tauke dia tetap bersenang hati.

Apa nak jadi Abang Malaya tak tahu
Rasa di hati semakin pilu
Rakyat jelata mengeluh selalu
Arah tuju negara tambah keliru.

Awal tahun tol pula naik
Menteri kata inilah yang terbaik
Periuk nasi rakyat dak nak terbalik
Banjir melanda PM tak rasa nak balik.

Abang Malaya minta ampun
Jari sepuluh abang susun
Meluahkan rasa bertimbun-timbun
Sebab rasa takut campur gerun.

Baguslah Adik Teh di luar negara
Susah payah kami adik tak rasa
Abang Malaya pun terfikir sekali sekala
Hendah lari jauh dari bumi Malaya.

Tapi Abang Malaya tak berdaya
Duit tak banyak usia dah tua
Anak bini kena juga jaga
Hidup mati nampaknya di Malaya.

Abang Malaya mengundur diri
Salam kepada Saudara Saudari
Kepada Edelweis yang baik pekerti
Terima kasih kerana terus mengikuti.

Anonymous said...

Kak Teh,
Found a du'a: Due is to Allah that which He has taken away and His is whatever He has Given. With Him, everything has an appointed term; so have patience and seek reward from Him

Kak Teh said...

edelweis,
yang pergi tetaplah pergi
meninggalkan kita berjuang lagi
hidup mati sesuatu yang pasti,
harinya saja kita menanti

walau siapapun kak teh berkawan,
kak teh ingat dalam kenangan
jasa dan budi dalam simpanan,
persahabatan tak mati, pudar atau dilupakan.
Insyaallah

Kak Teh said...

abang malaya,
terharu kak teh membaca berita
melihat gambar air naik sini sana
orang kehilangan rumah dan barang semua
apa nak jadi macam2 bencana.

Kabus menyelebungi Britain sekarang,
penerbangan dibatalkan untuk semua penumpang,
yang nak cuti Kristmas atau yang nak pulang,
menggigit jari di lapangan terbang

siang nampak macam malam,
murung nampak sekelian alam,
cuti kristmas duduk di dalam,
berselimut di rumah makan setalam.

faham saya kegelisahan abang,
bukan tak terasa yang berlaku di seberang,
malah lebih sedih kami sekarang,
nak bantu macam mana kami seorang?

Cuma doa kami kirimkan,
sabarlah kerana ini Tuhan ujikan,
kepada makhluknya di kampong dan pekan
di sini juga kami tak dilupakan.

mana-mana juga cuaca dah keliru,
banjir di sana gempa bumi di situ,
apakah ini amaran daripada yang Satu,
mengingatkan umat untuk bersatu.

Selagi hidup banyak masalahnya,
diuji kita makhluk di dunia,
bersabar saja kita tak ke mana,
bila dah macam kawan kak teh, baru habis ujiannya.

Dunia ini hanya tumpangan,
tempat berteduh tempat berangan,
membuat ibadat dilupa jangan,
itu sahaja dijadikan bekalan.

Sekali lagi ku undur diri,
mengetuk keyboard dah lenguh jari,
berbelog hingga dini hari,
kini nak siang ikan nak buat kari.

Kak Teh said...

bahan*kelabu, thank you for that piece of doa. itis so thoughful of you. Insyaallah.

ubisetela said...

Takziah k.Teh,
Al Fatehah

Kak Teh said...

ubi, thank you.

nazrah said...

yang pergi tetaplah pergi
yang tinggal hisablah diri
yang tiada usah ratapi
yang ada nilai tersendiri
yang sangsi mencari-cari
yang pasti hanya menanti
tiba waktu ia pun pergi
tinggallah harta kekasih hati
pulanglah jasad dimamah bumi
pulanglah ia didakap Ilahi
selamatlah ia dari sendiri
selamatlah ia dari diuji
ntahkan bila kita turuti


salam takziah buat keluarga dan sahabat handai allahyarham.

sri said...

Salam utk Kak Teh dan takziah untuk keluarga yang kehilangan. Ya, daripada tak ada kepada ada dan hidup ini jodohnya mati.

Pak... baliklah Pak.
Ini bukan kata saya, kata orang lain juga. Pak... Balik LAH!

ruby said...

My dear Kak Teh,

It must have been sad for you. Al-Fatihah to your friend.

Sometimes I do get all caught up when I get worried about how it will be in our twilights when the time comes.

When I get into this mood this would echo in my head: 'Get busy living or get busy dying'...Shawshank Redemption.

I choose the first.

Mama Rock said...

AlFatehah, may he rest in peace..

cakapaje said...

Al Fatihah

Kak Teh said...

nazrah,
yang pergi kita kenangkan,
yang tinggal tak dilupakan.

Sri, ya LAH.
Thanks for the doa.

Kak Teh said...

Ruby, yes, how true. Get busy living..you get more out of life that way.


mama rock and cakapahe, terima kasih. amin.

Kak Elle said...

Al-Fatehah untuk arwah.....sedeh membaca entry kali ni.

Has said...

Kak Teh, sometimes I feel that I could be closer to my beloved deceased one, cos I could recite Ya'asin to him or her at night. Real life, we were always busy and hardly have that special time to the one we loved outside our nuclear family.

Ning said...

Dear Kak Teh,
Alfatihah.I stumbled upon ur blogs while browsing for Mee Siam recipes and some of ur blogs amazingly echoed my own thoughts. I really LOVE ur blogs. Selamat hari raya Aidil Adha to u n ur family and may the new year will be as memorable as before.Btw, my own blogs r here, if u can spare the time to know me :) http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-HB67KcQ_dKnwR0DiMBSvZug-?cq=1

anasalwa said...

alFatihah for aruah.

Anonymous said...

Innalillah... semuga rohnya ditempatkan di kalangan orang2 yg beriman.

Wassalam,
Ibu

Anonymous said...

Al-Fatihah for your dear friend... moga2 dia ditempatkan di kalangan orang2 yg beriman. Amin.

My deepest condolences to you and yours for the lost of a dear friend

Kak Teh said...

kak elle,
terima kasih.

has, I know what you mean. The Yassin can do wonders..masyaallah. boleh menenangkan diri kita juga.

niing, sorry abtthis late reply. I visitedyr blog too - and thabnk you for visiting mine. But i couldnt comment, kan? I tried searching for an email to send to you, tapi tak ada. You are from Trengganu, right? there are a few blogs you must visit for things terengganu - . go to Pok ku and the other one is kecek-kecek www.kecek-kecek.blogspot.com Selamat hari raya to you too.

anasalwa, ibu and yatie, terima kasih.

Anonymous said...

Kak Teh, a beautiful piece, my uncle would have loved it. His passing came as a surprising news to us, although we knew of his condition. The last time I saw him was back during raya 2001. He was laughing enjoying his rendang while knowing exactly that he needed to fast for his check up later that evening. Am glad he had good friends..

Al Fatihah...

lion3ss

Kak Teh said...

lion3ss, I didnt know you are related. Yes, he had good friends. I am glad I got to know him.

zee said...

Greatly appreciated. He Was MY BELOVED BROTHER, and I Love You Very Much for whatever you had done for him. Will always keep in touch with you, dear sister.

Kak Teh said...

zee, if you are who I think you are - thank you for the call this morning. and yes,arwah brought us together. He is gone, but he brought us together. Al Fatehah to him always.