Of Engelbert and the merisik party

So Engelbert has laryngitis! I know so because a very disappointed fan sms’ed AND ym’ed me all the way from Malaysia about the cancellation. What a pity! But all is not lost ‘cos the legend nursing the sore throat should be fulfiling his promise to his fans this Wednesday. So, my piece about him will have to wait.

That leaves me with very little to blog about. Well, we did got out for a meal – i.e. Jane Sunshine and hubby, me and hubby plus birthday girl, ewok, to celebrate her birthday. We were having steamboat tomyam when someone said, what’s the latest from Malaysia? This person also mentioned Erra and Yusri’s break-up and that brought a look of surprise from my husband – a look that says: are they someone we know?

Well, we did talk about all sorts of things, this and that and I brought up the subject of Dato’ K and our Cik Siti, and the six million dollar question: are they finally tying the knot?

The Malaysian newspapers were abuzzed with the story yesterday that Dato’ K and entourage had finally gone to meet her family. I was rather bemused by the description of the intention of the visit.

According to The Star:
"It was not immediately known what the purpose of the visit was but speculation was rife that Khalid was there to merisik, which is a customary visit by a groom aspirant to seek the parents' consent for an engagement with their daughter. "

And the NST reported:
"Khalid and his family members were believed to be there to merisik (enquire), a Malay custom leading to formal engagement for marriage."

See how problematic the word merisik is. What is merisik? And in the case of our Cik Siti what else is there to merisik? Everything that needs to know about the singing sensation is all there in the media archives. Just google, no?

A brief vox pop around our tomyam table brought all sorts of answers: snoop, spy, enquire, to ask discreetly.

This is a brief explanation from- http://www.geocities.com/malayculture/cus_wedd.htm
Merisik
When it is time for a young man to get married his family will look around to identify a number of potential candidates. Having decided upon one particular young lady, then, the merisik of investigation process takes place. For this ceremony one or more representatives (wakil) of the young man’s family will pay a friendly visit to the family of the young woman whom they have in mind as his potential bride. The visit is purely for the purpose of further investigation. Its allows the visitors to see the young lady. A hint will be given to her parents regarding the purpose of the visit, and their reaction will be assessed. The girl’s parents may also give the visitors some idea as to whether or not their daughter will be interested in the match. The merisik does not constitute a formal proposal. Following the visit both sides can begin to think more seriously about the possibility or otherwise of the union. It is possible that no progress may take place, and the young man’s parents or representatives will then look for another possible candidate.

From today’s press, we were told that it was just a casual visit by Dato K’s entourage to Cik Siti’s. She wasn't even there. Sure. For someone like her, nothing can be casual and nothing can be discreet or quiet. With scores of paparazis and reporters on the look out, even perhaps renting rooms in houses nearby, any attempt to ‘enquire discreetly’ is almost a mission impossible.

Personally, I quite like the idea of merisik. It conjures a lot of fun and game playing in the mind. You get this image of two mak ciks visiting a house they have never visited before to carry out their task on behalf of the interested party. It is quite possible too that the interested male is in his car parked somewhere a few yards away. Usually they will enlist the help of an aunt of the subject – i.e. the girl or the 'flower' in the garden.

The mother, who is roped in, will then entertain the party, calling upon the unsuspecting daughter to serve tea and preferably some cakes that she herself made.

The conversation would go like this:

Mak cik 1: Yang ni yang mana?
Mother: Yang mana lagi. Saya ada yang ni saja laaa yang belum lepaih....
Mak Cik 2 : (eyeing girl from top to bottom) Dah ada kawan kaaaaaa?
Mother: Ish, budak-budak la ni. Kawan tu ramai laaaa. Tapi tak ada sapa spesial.
Mak Cik1: Isshhh (while munching kueh thatgirl made) sapa masak kueh ni, sedaaap!
Mother: Sapa lagi...anak saya laaa!

I can almost imagine the girl’s discomfort, shaking in her sarong while pouring out the tea
while being scrutinised by two elderly mak ciks and a nervous and anxious mum.

The conversation above is quite straight foreward, very straight to the point, unlike the story that my mother told me of a merisik party that went wrong.

A mother was in her garden when she was approached by two ladies who told her how much they liked the flower in her garden. Without further ado, out came her cutter and she snipped off some roses for the friendly but very astonished mak ciks.

But seriously, what is it that the merisiking party wants to know?

First and foremost of course, whether the girl is single and not ‘seeing’ anyone else. (Even 'chatting' online will be a minus point!)
Whether she can cook – thus, some girls are asked to prepare something. I would have failed miserably on this score. Most mothers are concerned that their sons are kept well fed. I suggest the take aways. I did that several years until we got tired of kebabs.
Can she sew? This day and age – perhaps not a very important requirement.
Is she working/prepared to leave her job/able to bear children?
Is she still unplucked and unvisited by any other bees?
Aha! Now, I was told that some mak ciks can tell even by the way a girl walks, an expert glance at her heels or her forehead.

Whatever the intention of the entourage to Cik Siti's mansion, be it for a cup of coffee to moist their throat after a long journey to the east coast, I wish them well. But, please, please make the announcement soon and end the miseries of the paparazis.