tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post6665904295582904711..comments2024-02-26T11:05:13.957+00:00Comments on Kak Teh's Choc-a-Bloc Blog: The house that Pak built - where is it?Kak Tehhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00856864485917633260noreply@blogger.comBlogger67125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-7814935163672750752008-10-29T08:06:00.000+00:002008-10-29T08:06:00.000+00:00wahwo, terima kasih kerana mengongsi pengalaman da...wahwo, terima kasih kerana mengongsi pengalaman dan cerita. Kak teh rasa ramai yang ada cerita macam ni.Kak Tehhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00856864485917633260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-64401942457414863692008-10-29T08:04:00.000+00:002008-10-29T08:04:00.000+00:00kak teh...satu entry yang amat menyentuh perasaan....kak teh...<BR/>satu entry yang amat menyentuh perasaan..terlalu banyak persamaan antara kita. mak saya pun amat merindukan rumah yang arwah Pak dirikan di Alor Setar. memang kami adik beradik tidak begitu memahami perasaan mak. kami adik beradik lebih sukakan mak di KL bersama kami..mungkin juga kami mementingkan diri sendiri. bila membaca entry kak teh, terasa sedih yang teramat..mungkin mak juga seperti mak kak teh.<BR/>~wahwo~Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-91264071472615152242008-10-23T07:06:00.000+01:002008-10-23T07:06:00.000+01:00Ibu, that is so true. We dont know what fate has i...Ibu, that is so true. We dont know what fate has in store for us. Ya, that's the house, sayangnya sebab kosong. <BR/><BR/>OSH, welcome after a ling hiatus. <BR/>Oh, I am so sorry to hear that. For some they feel there's no more reason to live. My mother had to go on because she had to care for her Mak - she she had that added responsibility to make her feel she needed to go on.Kak Tehhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00856864485917633260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-10340749623048626242008-10-23T01:49:00.000+01:002008-10-23T01:49:00.000+01:00"I suppose in those days, a public display of affe..."I suppose in those days, a public display of affection, even in front of their own children, was a no no. There was no Yang or Abang, or any such terms of endearment that we heard. But the loyalty and devotion were obvious for she cared for Pak right until he breathed his last. The companionship that they shared was evident." <BR/><BR/>Oh KakTeh, it's so true. In my case, my mum left all of us to be with my dad within 9 months after my dad's demise. Such was their promises of 'sehidup semati'.Ordinary Superherohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17486904965554547395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-43739433914264782562008-10-22T12:10:00.000+01:002008-10-22T12:10:00.000+01:00Salam kak teh...This is touching. Though in fragme...Salam kak teh...<BR/><BR/>This is touching. Though in fragments and unclear vision, it remains in her long term memory till today... Sebak rasa. I don't know what else to say.... <BR/><BR/>Macam mana nanti time kita pulak? <BR/><BR/>p/s Is that really the house? Beautiful indeed.IBUhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07000715887814161911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-72669663547404175902008-10-22T10:49:00.000+01:002008-10-22T10:49:00.000+01:00rozilah, thanks. Sharing makes the load much easie...rozilah, thanks. Sharing makes the load much easier to carry.Kak Tehhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00856864485917633260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-58355082395422624192008-10-22T10:02:00.000+01:002008-10-22T10:02:00.000+01:00kak teh, you are soo strong... i always draw coura...kak teh, you are soo strong... i always draw courage from meeting sisters like you...RozIlah Kamarudinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06342816088525761596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-50140090149689419222008-10-22T08:52:00.000+01:002008-10-22T08:52:00.000+01:00Rozilah, when I left, she was strong and healthy -...Rozilah, when I left, she was strong and healthy - that was nearly 29 years ago. she even visited me three times. The woman who was the pillar of strength for everyone had to grow old and sometimes we cant accept that. i think she cant accept being dependant on others. It is only quite recently that she turned fraila nd forgetful - but then she is 90 over. It is always hard to lewave whenever i go back on holiday...but as i have said many times, we made certain choices and we live with it.Kak Tehhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00856864485917633260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-71617722946088776252008-10-22T08:06:00.000+01:002008-10-22T08:06:00.000+01:00Kak Teh, I dont know whether i could bear being aw...Kak Teh, I dont know whether i could bear being away from my mother if mine is like yours...<BR/><BR/>i guess, thats the stream of life, we row it merrily...merrilyRozIlah Kamarudinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06342816088525761596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-304102967163157632008-10-21T16:20:00.000+01:002008-10-21T16:20:00.000+01:00Ilene, this coming so soon after your own mother's...Ilene, this coming so soon after your own mother's death. You have spent time with her and looked after her, i haven't.<BR/>I know how disoriented they can be. My mother moves from one house to another - nearby - my siblings are all nearby for that very purpose. And of course she feels unsettled. But sometimes we feel she wants a change. But one thing is for sure, she loves being with her cucus..they adore her. <BR/>Take care Ilene.Kak Tehhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00856864485917633260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-20208659388470792222008-10-21T16:17:00.000+01:002008-10-21T16:17:00.000+01:00anon 3:36, thank you for sharing. Yes, with us its...anon 3:36, thank you for sharing. Yes, with us its almost a game, weeks of preparation of what to say to get her to go to KL. She'd be okay for a while and then she'd want to go. For me, looking and listening from afar, may be sometimes i dont understand and i'd want to pay for her to fly back - but her health doesnt allow that. She used to fly back but now even the flight tires her. And we cant leave her with a maid. At night the gas tank kena tutup, semua pinggan kena cuci, if not she'd wake up and try to cook something and then leave the fire on, or she'd wash all the dishes and then dia penat. They'd allow her to hang up the washings - and she'd be pleased with that - lepas tu penat. I think its the sense of being useless. She feels useless when she used to do a lot before. We feel she need not do anthing anymore - which i supposed is wrong. Thank you for sharing.Kak Tehhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00856864485917633260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-4654920838413707762008-10-21T15:37:00.000+01:002008-10-21T15:37:00.000+01:00Kak Teh I noticed all old folks remember their you...<B>Kak Teh</B> I noticed all old folks remember their younger days much clearer than the present and then they like to every now and then talk of those good old days and sometimes can be repetitious. I also noticed that they love to be in the home where they've spent most of their life. My mum had always told me <I><B>nothing like your own house and bed</B></I>! You know, from taking care of my mum, I found out that she can become disorientated when we move mum from house to house. She tends to forget where she's waking up from! In fact I myself experienced that too when I moved to stay with mum for that short duration and thereafter returning home and waking up thinking I was still in mum's house and to think I'm so much younger! Seeing the behaviours of your mum and mine, I now wonder how I would be when I'm their age!ilenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17037869467192116244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-16870787781464587642008-10-21T15:36:00.000+01:002008-10-21T15:36:00.000+01:00My mak wouldn't want to leave her old wooden big h...My mak wouldn't want to leave her old wooden big house in Kuala Kangsar where she had spent her wonderful times with our late father.She stays there with her Indon bibi and refuse to stay with her chilren in kl.We're worried of course, tapi tak tau mcm mana nak pujuk lagi dah...So I boleh faham how your mak feels,fond memories and wanting to return.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-48214548267380209422008-10-20T03:36:00.000+01:002008-10-20T03:36:00.000+01:00clarisse, thanks for dropping by. I really dont k...clarisse, thanks for dropping by. I really dont know what to say what helps now as her memories lapse so much. Am sure this raya haji they will make an attempt to celebrate in Alor star - but the journey is tiring for her. Even taking the flight back , which she normally did, is tiring.<BR/>Thanks for your concern.Kak Tehhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00856864485917633260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-37212777028065069432008-10-20T03:21:00.000+01:002008-10-20T03:21:00.000+01:00Mak must have been loved so very much. It's so sad...Mak must have been loved so very much. <BR/>It's so sad that she is so far away from her memories. <BR/>Do you think photographs help??Clarisse Teagenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10840628523805821354noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-37062260087555832982008-10-20T03:12:00.000+01:002008-10-20T03:12:00.000+01:00anon, dont worry - the initial anger and reaction ...anon, dont worry - the initial anger and reaction is understandable because sometimes I react similarly when my siblings tell me this and that. They try to accomodate her and she is surrounded by love. I owe my siblings and my sisters and brothers in law a great deal - they dote on her while i look on, i listen from afar. I dont do much in terms of what a child should do - so I blog. If you see to the right - a compilation of what I had written - to purge my own guilty conscience. This is how I deal with it. <BR/>It is good to share - because not one experience is the same and we do not use the same yardstick. <BR/>I think the hardest challenge is for a child to look after their ageing parents. The few times I had with her, made me realise how much my siblings and in laws had done. <BR/>Thank you once again. and take care.Kak Tehhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00856864485917633260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-62980319899475760652008-10-20T01:39:00.000+01:002008-10-20T01:39:00.000+01:00I owe you and your siblings an apology, then, Kak ...I owe you and your siblings an apology, then, Kak Teh. <BR/><BR/>Perhaps your posting reminded me of my siblings - who wouldn't help out at all, and what they thought was a 'help', they thought was such a big sacrifice on their part. They also could not get along with her, and thought our parent was grumpy, cantankerous, stubborn, moody, forgetful, etc - exactly the same things said here by so many people about your mum. <BR/><BR/>It was none of those things. My siblings never thought of just loving her, and what that means in practice. I too found the same as my siblings initially, but as time went by I found that she wasn't all those things at all. She needed to be loved. I needed to love her. She was actually lucid and in full control of her mind as ever. She just needed to be loved, needed appropriate attention,needed not to be talked down to as a child, needed not to be talked down to as a deaf old person, and so on. <BR/><BR/>I am not saying you and your siblings are the same, just sharing. My apologies again and thank you for your patience at my rudeness.<BR/><BR/>- angrytearsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-5742879418418916002008-10-19T08:20:00.000+01:002008-10-19T08:20:00.000+01:00angry tears, dont be angry - they do take her home...angry tears, dont be angry - they do take her home. It was quite recently that she was there and spent time with my elder sister. and she was there to see that the house is repaired. Of course she says that everyday she wants to go home. They took her home one day, the next day she forgets and asked to be home again. They took her home and then after two days, she said - oh i have been back for too long now - take me back to KL. So that is the state of her mind. <BR/>Dont get me wrong - they do take her home. It is good that you cared for your aged parents - no sacrifices to big or too small for one's parents. <BR/>Thanks for your contribution.Kak Tehhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00856864485917633260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-2093501266419520282008-10-19T08:14:00.000+01:002008-10-19T08:14:00.000+01:00Dear Kak Teh,I cared for an aged parent for many y...Dear Kak Teh,<BR/><BR/>I cared for an aged parent for many years till passing away. <BR/><BR/>I am very angry that your mother's request is not seen to by any of her children.<BR/><BR/>What is the sacrifice - what is the difficulty - in taking her back to the house in the desa? <BR/><BR/>For goodness sakes, she talks about it daily, she even told her son to take her to work so she can walk from the junction back home. <BR/><BR/>Can't anyone see the desperation in her request?! She would even WALK to be HOME! <BR/><BR/>Old people are not senile. Old people sometimes pretend not to remember. Yes, even at that age, they are considerate and love their children.<BR/><BR/>Home.<BR/><BR/>Think not about the literal meaning of that word - a literal place - a material place.<BR/><BR/>Haven't any of us being back, literally and physically back in our house, and feel so - HOME - in a metaphoric sense? <BR/><BR/>'I am home - home at last! Home where I belong! Home where every crack in the floor, every creak of the wood, has a history inside of me' - inside of your mother.<BR/><BR/>For God's sakes, take her HOME.<BR/><BR/>LET HER BE HOME, and be at peace. <BR/><BR/>No sacrifice is too big.<BR/><BR/>Do it. <BR/><BR/>- angrytearsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-72405327990635772382008-10-19T08:12:00.000+01:002008-10-19T08:12:00.000+01:00member selamatkan bukit mahkamah,alahai, this is i...member selamatkan bukit mahkamah,<BR/>alahai, this is indeed a blast from the past!!!<BR/>selamat datang ke blog saya.<BR/>Cerita mak you macamlah cerita mak kak teh. Degil tapi dia tau dia tak boleh duduk sendiri di sana lagi. Dia tau kalau dia balik untuk sekejap-sekejap saja. Rumah tu memang terjaga, diperbaiki, jadi bila balik sekali-sekala boleh buat kenduri. Bila buat kenduri dan rumah tu ramai, penuh hilai ketawa - dia suka sangat. Baru saja buat kenduri di sana. Ramai saudara mara datang...ya rumah usang pun memang banyak kenangan.<BR/>Selamat hari jadi belated kepada mak you...errr, boleh tak reveal identity you sikit...sebab kak teh ni otak dah berkarat dan zaman kita berkempen tu dah lama dah.Kak Tehhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00856864485917633260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-1668955025642847622008-10-19T07:57:00.000+01:002008-10-19T07:57:00.000+01:00Zaharah,Salam dan slamat hari raya to you ad famil...Zaharah,<BR/>Salam dan slamat hari raya to you ad family.<BR/><BR/>My mum juga tak mahu tinggal rumah usang yang anak-anak bina selepas our dad meninggal 34 years ago.<BR/>Kami anak-anak ajak mak tinggal dengan kami sama ada di KL,Shah Alam, PJ, Batang Kali, Alor Star atau Bukit Perak. Dia refuse dia tetap mahu tinggal di rumah usang itu. mahu tidak mahu kenalah kami up grade rumah kesayangannya untuk kami 11 beradik dan 45 cucu dan 11 cicit serta menantu-menantunya berkumpul pada setiap hari raya.<BR/>For your info my ma just celebrated her 81 years last night but she is very degil dan tak mahu berganjak dengan keputusannya untuk kekal tinggal di rumahnya keseorangan.<BR/>katanya rumah itu memberinya ketenangan dan memori yang dia hanya hayati.<BR/>So setiap hari we have to call her to tanya akhhar and my elder sister or her children who stays in Aloar Star has to dro by at my mum's house each and everyday. <BR/>susah betul nak jelaskan kat mak why she have to stay with us. No no and no her answer. The most she could stay with her children 2 weeks then macam-macam excuses dan tempernya mula naik.<BR/>We luv her very much but she love her house more.<BR/><BR/>Kumpulan selamatkan bukit mahkamah.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-63499505388064615212008-10-18T21:40:00.000+01:002008-10-18T21:40:00.000+01:00lee, you not only took the wrong train, stopped at...lee, you not only took the wrong train, stopped at the wrong station and went to the wrong house! Aiya, this is really showing your age.<BR/>Anyway, thanks for finally finding your way here.<BR/>I had a wonderful tour of Toronto, thanks to you.Kak Tehhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00856864485917633260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-83220214594988417052008-10-18T12:52:00.000+01:002008-10-18T12:52:00.000+01:00Hello Kak Teh, Omigosh! I replied you in wrong blo...Hello Kak Teh, Omigosh! I replied you in wrong blog? Funny? I thought I kliked into your blog?<BR/>Ni la habis cherita, old age catching up, ha ha.<BR/>Minta ma'af Kak Teh....nasib baik it was not asking you for a date pergi Serpentine Lake have coffee and scones, ha ha.<BR/><BR/>I got no engagement ring or link with you...but Kak Teh it is alway a pleasure and an honour you come by my post. Terima kaseh seribu.<BR/><BR/>About Mak, I guess its loneliness, her age and strong imagination. I have been reading of similar experiences here too....<BR/>I guess maybe we have to go along with her, ensure she is happy and talk to her....in this saya tada experience. But feel sad reading about it. I can imagine how you feel too Kak Teh.<BR/><BR/>Rumah tu yang Pak built is beautiful. I have always loved Malay houses as I grew up next to a Malay kampong, played with Malay friends...<BR/>I love those look like Minangkabau style, as well those Alor Star and Malacca style homes.<BR/><BR/>Kak Teh, always a pleasure have you visit, you keep well and have a nice day, best regards, and regret taking the wrong bus, ha ha, Lee. Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00659078775260068702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-50622246772148969452008-10-18T08:48:00.000+01:002008-10-18T08:48:00.000+01:00david santos, thanks for the visit.wahaza extra, y...david santos, thanks for the visit.<BR/><BR/>wahaza extra, you could be right. there might be some unfinished business.thanks for the visit.Kak Tehhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00856864485917633260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9776295.post-5916649035753848932008-10-18T08:47:00.000+01:002008-10-18T08:47:00.000+01:00atiza, that is true. kita pun nanti tua nak ingat...atiza, that is true. kita pun nanti tua nak ingat yang elok2 saja.<BR/><BR/>Count Byron, thanks and i am sure once she is on the way, she knows where it is. It'll come back to her.After all, all her memories are kept there.<BR/><BR/>farizahb, kak teh link you kat situ dah lama. Thanks.Kak Tehhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00856864485917633260noreply@blogger.com